THE GRAZED KNEES.

The balcony wall in our old house bears the marks of our knees.
As kids, we used to hang around a lot in the balcony standing on our toes with our knees firmly abutted against the wall. Be it watching the children play or gazing at the pretty girls in our neighbourhood, our balcony view never failed us.It was like a bird's eye view.
We anxiously used to await the arrival of our parents from their jobs every evening. This was very painful as we were of the opinion that they should stop working and stay at home,all the time with us.
During Diwali, the wait would get exciting as we would see our dad ambling towards home with a box of fire crackers in his hands.We would start yelling at his sight with joy and rush down to welcome him and the cracker box. This wait was worth its weight in gold.

After careful segregation and division of the crackers, Me and my brother would have a blast bursting the crackers.My dad would always supervise with his hawk eyes and help us at times with the bombs. His eyes would sparkle with joy seeing us in such a happy state. We would finish the crackers in no time and look expectantly at him for more. He always replenished our stocks. He charged our lives. He recharged our lives.

The life cycle goes on.

My kids also eagerly wait for me now, and scream with glee when they see me arrive home. Chaitra loves mild noiseless crackers but Prithvy is not afraid of noisy ones.

This Diwali is the first one without my dad.

We are in mourning and do not feel like celebrating at all. Chaitra asked innocently for sparklers and I refused her breaking her little heart.She later understood the reason behind my refusal. She did not ask again but she contentedly,watches the firework display in the building from our balcony. A child has a very tough time suppressing her desires and wishes. I am proud of her maturity at such a tender age.
This Diwali was without any sweets or lamps for us.
As per as tradition, near and dear relatives come over with sweets for us grieving folks. Mansi's aunt got a small sparkler box for her. She lit them at Mansi's clinic during Laxmi Pooja.
My eyes were sparkling and I remembered my dad's eyes. Our happiness lies in our children.

I still wait at my balcony, patiently for my dad to come home. He will never even if I graze my knees waiting for him.

Prithvy points heavenwards with his index finger when I ask him about my dad's whereabouts and Chaitra wipes my moist eyes and takes me to my room.